Monday, February 7, 2011

Hall of Shame: Movie Posters

Let us all agree these three movie (er, posters are both captivating and awful. I laughed when I saw them, and yet I'd rather shove Tabasco sauce in my eyes than sit through these films in their entirety.


Ok, now, hold up. Stop right there. This is a comedy, yes? A comedy revolving around a very inappropriate marriage? But, lest we get the wrong idea, the tagline is quick to remind us that she's just doing it for "the money." Ah yes...the money?

1.) What is "the money?" Is "the money" really worth getting married to a child? Because if she needs the money that badly, she and her boyfriend can just go on a killing/stealing spree instead, amiright nerds?!
2.) Why is he making that face?! I am severely creeped out at how uncomfortable that poor little dude looks. JoGo, are you ok?!!!!

Dear "The Mechanic" Movie Poster,
Sorry. A violent orange phallus won't get me to see your movie.

No one will argue that, indeed, someone does need to fix "the problems." (Perhaps "the problems" result from "the money?") But I'm going to need some specifics, please. It's about "the" mechanic, but it's starring two guys. So, I don't even know who this mechanic is or what kind of problems he's trying to fix. Car problems, I would assume.

WAIT. Maybe the plot is really about someone who is having a problem WITH a mechanic, and thus has to fix the problems created by that mechanic? Nailed it.