ROUND 1: Clair Huxtable vs. Daughter Sandra's Husband Elvin
"Let me tell you something, Elvin...You see, I am not 'serving' Dr. Huxtable, okay? That sort of thing goes on in a restaurant. I'm bringing him a cup of coffee because he brought me a cup of coffee this morning, and that is what marriage is all about. Give and take, fifty-fifty. And, if you don't get it together and DROP these macho attitudes, you are never gonna have anyone bringing you anything, any place, anytime EVER!" -- Clair on The Cosby Show
VERDICT: Don't mess with Clair Huxtable, because you will always lose.
ROUND 2: Singer Beth Ditto vs. Singer Katy Perry
"[Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl'] is a boner dyke anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or, like, faking gay. I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all." -- Beth Ditto, lead signer of The Gossip
VERDICT: Beth Ditto is outspoken, but right-on-the-money. Sure, it has a catchy beat, but Katy Perry's whole coy "Well, that was fun! And now I'm going back to my boyfriend, who likes it when I do such things!" message just ain't right. Ditto's all about getting society to wake up, but Katy didn't seem to mind reveling in style over substance with this particular song. Team Ditto.