Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Puppy Bowl V: The Recap

While the rest of the world was anticipating the Superbowl's Cardinals vs. Steelers showdown this past Sunday afternoon, VC and NT were getting down to business. Puppy business. Yes, VC has finally calmed down enough from her disappointment in Christian Bale to recap the splendor known as the annual Puppy Bowl, on the Animal Planet network.

For the first time in Puppy Bowl history, a parrot came out to "sing" the national anthem. All the puppies got a little emotional, but the ref stayed cool. (Who is that guy? Do you think he's probably a jerk in real life or really sweet? Discuss!)

The whole "game" was watched by other dogs at the Puppy Tailgate Party. This means that Animal Planet would cut to this Tailgate Party throughout the show to get the reactions from the fans as to what was happening on the field (read: a lot of dogs would bark at the screen and the announcer would say something like, "The fans are calling a foul on this play!"). The best part of the Tailgate Party is that the dogs were TRASHY. Straight-up TRASHY. All the dogs were still extremely cute, mind you, but hilariously trashy. The poodle's white fur looked a little dirty and it had its hair in an unkempt ponytail. One little dog looked greasy. It was awesome, trust me. Here's the same Tailgating crew from a prior year:

On the field, there were two puppy players who stole our hearts:

Eli, a ball of fluff with a sweet, simple disposition, was voted MVP by Ninja Thanksgiving. When not bouncing around or playing tug-of-war with other puppies, Eli enjoys long walks on the beach and fine Italian cuisine.

Madeline was the undisputed MVP in Vampire Christmas' eyes. Her cuteness masked her fierce competitive nature, and she scared the crap out of several of the puppies (as well as VC & NT). Seriously, you guys, sometimes she just gave other puppies The Eye (you know...it's that looks that says "Do you really want to mess with me right now? Do you? Because I will attack your ass."). It was amazing. She was one tough little cookie.

So, while VC and NT preferred the puppy equivalent to Of Mice & Men's Lennie and George, America chose Matilda the Beagle (left) as the official Puppy Bowl 5 MVP on Animal Planet's website. Whatever. Just because Matilda scored two touchdowns? Since when did football have anything to do with this?!

One of the greatest moments had to be when the "game" was interrupted. By a streaker. I'm not lying:

Can you believe that?! Genius!!!!! Animal Planet needs to win so many Emmy awards for this show. (The whole video is here.)

I hope all you Cat People enjoyed the traditional Kitty Halftime Show, where producers shove a bunch of cuddly kitties on a platform and put them in the middle of the field. The kitties usually just look around all like, "WTF?" while crazy honky-tonk music tries to spice things up for viewers. This year, however, some of the kitties were feisty and decided to venture onto the field and play around. Awwwww-nesss ensued. (Click here for the full video) ...and then Animal Planet dumps a bunch of confetti on them to signal the end of halftime. Good idea/bad idea?

The puppies played around for 2 hours, leaving some of them energized. As for little Schroeder, though, he spent most of the game snuggling on the floor and melting hearts across America thusly:

Some people might try to hide their love of Puppy Bowl, but we Squares are proud to support the pooches! By the way, is this making anyone else want to watch that cartoon classic Oliver & Company right now?! No? Just me?