Zachary Taylor vs. Zac Efron
Oh, which one shall I choose? Hi, it's Zefron all the way. Zachary Taylor looks booo-ring!
Ulysseys S. Grant vs. Grant Show
I'm going to call this one a tie, at least for me. Ulysseys hates slavery and Show was on Melrose Place. Not quite even, but whatever.
Andrew Jackson vs. Jackson Rathbone
Easy. Andrew Jackson is one of my most hated historical figures ever. He lead the Battle of New Orleans after the War of 1812 had been declared over! Annoying! Jbone, however, went to Interlochen, where I spent a lovely mini-break holiday in the summer of '04. Bonus! There was a Rathbone in the box with Lincoln when he was shot.
Gerald Ford vs. Ford Prefect
Sorry, Grand Rapids. I'm going to have to abandon my generally overpowering love of all Midwesterners and go with Ford Prefect. Look at him. ( By the way, is that not the most terrifying picture of Gerald Ford ever? It looks like the top of his head could just flip back and reveal some sort of reptilian innard.)
Franklin Pierce or Pierce Brosnan
Question: Did Franklin Pierce ever walk on a tropical patio wearing only belted jeans? Probably not. Pierce Brosnan is gross and Franklin Pierce has almost emo hair. The Prez wins.