Saturday, February 14, 2009


Yes. Square is the New Punk bloggers call this sacred day Malentine's Day instead of Valentine's Day. Why? I think that's pretty obvious. "Mal" = "bad." And thus, you know our feelings on Valentine's Day. We hate it. And hating stuff on Valentine's Day is the ultimate way to celebrate Malentine's Day. So, NT & VC will be updating this post throughout the day with things that are very Malentine's Day appropriate. Stay tuned.

Movies for Malentine's Day:
Fatal Attraction
Natural Born Killers
Die Hard
Night of the Living Dead
Kill Bill
Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
War of the Roses
Dangerous Liaisons
The Crush
Basic Instinct
Hard Candy
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Thelma & Louise
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
American Beauty
Death Becomes Her
Pitch Black
Rosemary’s Baby

Beantown Malentines
What's more Malentine's than avoiding a hobo fight by ducking into your local terrifying cemetery? How about being locked out of said cemetery? During NT's Malentine's Beantown Tour (reservations are now being accepted for 2010) she had to deal with breath-taking wind, hairy, probably homeless men threatening each other, dead people directly under her feet, and a lock on a cemetery gate tighter than the lock bitterness has on her cold, Midwestern heart.

Also, always remember, hookers need love, too. (Damn, look how even Hooker's stupid horse won't look NT in the eye. Everyone looks down on singles on Valentines.)
Malentines Creative Expression
While VC & NT go and deface cupcakes (by putting the international symbol for no over the hearts that the bakery dared put atop the cupcakes), we will leave you with an appropriate Salad Fingers video. Not familiar with Salad Fingers? He's creepy. He's basically a cartoon freak who acts like a serial killer, and that's why this video is Malentines perfection. VC recommends mimicking Salad Fingers' voice, because it's hella fun. In this little Malentine's Day treat, someone lusts after Mr. Fingers while he lusts after grubby taps.

Ah, amour.